This ‘shade of gray’ isn’t very inspiring! A recent study
announced that “Older adults (aged 50 and over), unlike the U .S. population as
a whole, have faced rising divorce rates over the past 20 years.” In fact, the
study suggested that rates were doubling over the decades. In 1990 fewer than
10% of those aged 50 & older got divorced; today 25% of those in this age
group get divorced. This is a very significant issue because more than half the
married population is now over 50.
The divorce rate is a matter that I have written about
before in my Update. Why such a focus? Because I believe that with
knowledge and tools, people can make conscious decisions about their marriages
rather than waking up one day and saying “I have had enough!”. Maintaining
intimacy and friendship in marriage over time IS possible – if you know how to
work it.
If you are in a struggling relationship and are in the Gray
group (even though you may not look it), you may be wondering whether you
should start focusing and preparing for the financial and emotional impact of
separation and divorce. As complicated as family break up is when there are
young children and teens in the home, divorce is still quite complicated as you
get older. There will now be less time left for you to financially and
emotionally recover and you may even be less flexible and able to do so.
Unfortunately, re-marriage divorce rates are 2.5 times higher than those of
first marriages. Not because there isn’t enough love between people but
because life is more complicated even with grown children. Adding
grandchildren, financial planning, and other challenges into a brand new
relationship wears away at the fragile bond of new love.
